Category Archives: a little silly

being crafty: seaglass decorations

Before we begin, check out the beautiful, natural sunlight on this not-so-shabby DIY nautical wreath from my earlier post. The sunshine made it look surreal.

you are my sunshine

you are my sunshine

Okay, this DIY is stupid easy. I did it while pacing around the house, playing soccer with the dog’s toys to distract her from eating the tree, and watching something mindless on Bravo. Probably Housewives, much to Ray’s dismay. Did I mention this craft is mindless?

DSC_1004

she can’t be trusted by the balsam.

This began because my crafty coworker was having an ornament swap and in an attempt to be social, I agreed to go. Which meant I inherently signed up to make two dozen ornaments. And I was stoked with the end result, so it seemed silly not to do them for our house too. And made not only ornaments, but also candles, because candles rock and we don’t have a fireplace.

Here are your materials. Glass ornaments. Pick whatever size you like, but please use glass. Yes, glass bulbs can and most likely will break due to asshole animals that swat them from the tree, but they’re so elegant and authentic looking. Mason jars if you want to make matching candles. Foam blocks and wooden dowels (or chopsticks) for a homemade drying rack. Art sponges. And pick your paint. Ray and I like anything white and have greys and blues in our house, so went with green and blue. Sorry, red. The specific paint I used is Martha Stewart Pearl Acryllic in Hummingbird (green), Mother of Pearl (white), and Aquarium (blue). There are other options in Martha Stewart glass paints: translucent ones that would look gorgeous, even sparkly ones if that’s your thing. I’m serious here: I painted 8 dozen ornaments and needed only three paint bottles as shown below. And I think I was heavy handed with it. It goes a long way. Which I wish I had known ahead of time before taking stock in the same color paints. If you like Hummingbird and Aquarium, let me know! Or if you can think of any other glass crafts that need painting…

DSC_0965

your ingredients

Space your drying rack like you’re making Christmas cookies on a baking sheet.

DSC_0966

form meets function

And begin your paint job. Huge warning: do not make the same mistake I made. And even after I made it, I continued to do the same thing, because I’m an idiot. Do not put your finger inside the bulbs. There are glass shards! I found it easiest to get a good grip on the bulb as shown below for the painting process, but please beware of the glass shards. That being said, let the painting commence. Sponge it on as thick or as thin as you like.

DSC_0968

this one didn’t have any glass shards…

DSC_0970

one down, 95 to go

Another heads up, you get messy. The foam bricks “shed” little foamy pieces everywhere that kind of look like snowflakes across your kitchen island. And floor. And on occasion in the paint. And you get some paint on things. Like your manicure. And your kitchen island. And kitchen floor when a bulb breaks and you cry. Not like that happened.

DSC_0976

i never considered white nail polish before until this sample swatch. my friend, rachael, just got a recent mani the same color!

Let your first round dry overnight before removing from the racks and then it’s time for round two, three, and beyond. I think beach glass varies from blue to green, so made solid blue, solid green, blue-greens, and green-blues for variety.

DSC_0991

cool colors make me content

Let them dry. If there are any you’re not happy with, you can easily wash off the paint and repaint anywhere from immediately to two days out. I was slightly obsessive about the foam bits that got in my paint, making the paint look lumpy. I think a good solution to this would be to leave the plastic wrap on the foam blocks throughout the craft. Keep the foam bits to a minimum. But seriously, you can wash it off and retry. I never baked the ornaments or waited the 26-something day period to let them totally air dry. They’re basically dry after a day or two and easy enough to handle.

Put your caps back on and if you like jute, wrap it a few times around the cap and knot it off. And go to town on the tree! I know store-bought ornaments are pretty inexpensive, but so are these and these are things you created. So please give it a shot.

DSCF0197


six of many

Anyway, I loved how these came out so much (and I had and still have so much extra paint on hand), that I decided to make candle holders. Pick any old glass jar you like, sponge paint your favorite colors, dry on your makeshift drying rack, wrap with jute, plop in a tealight, and there you go.

Ready for it? Like Emeril, bam!

DSCF0228

seaglass-style candles! the blue-green and white ones are DIY. the little silver ones are from Target

So that’s it, really. I’d show you a photo of our tree, but there are so few bulbs on it because two little creatures have made it their life goal to knock them down, so now it’s oddly top-heavy if you know what I mean. The bottom three feet of the tree are bare. Assholes.

Anyway, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

Tori

Advertisements

what is wednesday?

“She is delightfully chaotic; a beautiful mess. Loving her is a splendid adventure.”

I’m a little confused. At a standstill, really. Shrugging my shoulders and trying to figure this one out. We just celebrated what we’re thankful for on Throwback Thursday. I mean, Thanksgiving. Then we proved we’re not content with what we already have by honoring Black Friday. I don’t know what Saturday and Sunday were called. Black Friday’s Evil Stepsisters, perhaps. And if that isn’t enough, we buy more crap we don’t need on Cyber Monday.

Some awesome organizations out there remind us to remember those who are less fortunate on Giving Tuesday. Giving Tuesday campaigns make me smile that there are still some inspirational folks among those who were throwin’ elbows for the latest and last Kindle on the shelf. Whatever Kindle is most popular right now, assuming Kindle’s are still popular. Whatever the popular thing is that people duke it out over. But violence is not the answer. That’s what internet shopping is for so you can be a shopping ninja from the comfort of your own home. In the nude, even. Before leaving the topic of Giving Tuesday, wait! Here’s my plug. Please go donate to any cause you love if you haven’t already. Pick any! Support Gay Rights and Equality. Bring kitten toys to an animal shelter. Support brain tumor research with NBTS to find a cure in my mom’s memory! Anything.

But after Giving Tuesday, then what? What the heck is the day after called? The day after Tuesday? Any other Wednesday? Hump day, for most. But seriously.

We have a manic stretch of days from the day we say we’re grateful, to the four days we shop like we’re on Supermarket Sweet, to one more day of being good people, and then what? Sidebar: Supermarket Sweep was the shit. It was me and my mom’s goal to not only be on it but to dominate it. We were both sprinters with great fast-twitch muscles to beat everyone to the turkeys, other cuts of fine meat, and bacon. We’d find a bonus somewhere at the end of the refrigerated meat aisle, switch carts, get the damn baby formula and diapers fast! We had our plan down cold. I digress. No more talk about shopping.

Today is just a Wednesday. There’s no name given to it by pop culture or the newscasters that I’m aware of. Scratch that. I just Googled it. It’s been called Weeping Wednesday because of all the bills people racked up. Really? What if you spent within your means and finished your next month’s project of shopping? There’s no crying in that. I’ll probably be crying because I’m a sobbing mess lately with the holidays here and my mom not here. But that’s not the same.

The Wednesday after is just back to normal. It’s living in a messy world, where every single day has loads of responsibilities, not just one the shopping gods have delegated for us: give thanks, buy, buy, buy, buy some more, give. Wednesday doesn’t have a set agenda. It’s more carefree, a little messy, even wacky if you will. Anyone local knows Trucchi’s Supermarkets have Wacky Wednesdays. My mom was a huge fan. She’d stock up on whatever we didn’t need, but it was always prime time to get cereal, since we were only allowed to buy it if it was on sale and my mom had a coupon. Ray’s mom had the same deal with him growing up, to be fair. But still, we’re back on shopping. Enough of that.

Wacky, messy, normal, living, breathing, being Wednesday doesn’t quite have a melodic ring to it, but life is not cookie cutter. I so badly wanted it to be a perfect cookie cutter when I was little and tried my hardest to make it that way, but life is a blubbering, sloppy mess. Like our dog’s kisses. She goes all over the place in excitement. She licks up your nose back to a section of your head you didn’t think you could reach, your ear lobes, the inside of your mouth if you’re not careful. She stands on anything in reach to get to you. Your face, the area of my chest where boobs should reside if I had them, Ray’s delicate areas, your gut which always hurts. She’s just all over the place. You can’t control it or contain it. She’s entropy! I’m so far out of school I barely remember this, but something in thermodynamics states that in natural processes entropy increases. Using life as a metaphor, that’d mean everything gets messy and it’s basically supposed to be that way. It’s supposed to be all over the place with nonsense and crazy thrown in. Just like the organization of my essay right now.

Here’s my Wacky Wednesday: Call in to 7am meeting while still basically asleep and definitely still in pajama’s with bed hair (messy). Be exhausted after having insomnia and trying to treat it by pacing and getting out of bed to write this essay until 2am the night before so crawl into the shower begrudgingly. Brush my hair if I remember (messy). Drive to work when I will most likely cry about something that reminded me of my mom or a trigger that brought up my dad (ugly cry, messy). Seriously though. I had a meltdown over a water bottle the other day. Get to work with makeup smeared down my face (messy). Pull my shit together for work even if I cry there too randomly. But I also twerk behind my officemate, do jigs in front of the Keurig, and run the risk of peeing my pants every single day since the office is an icebox (that’s messy and it’s happened before). Drive home and cry (messy). Realize I have no clean clothes (messy) and must do a laundry immediately, realize the dog ate her poop again (disgustingly messy), notice the kitten is a gem (cats aren’t messy), realize it’s a night Ray works until 10pm which means I’ll be alone and sad (messy), perhaps I’ll cook the rest of the salmon (messy but delicious), try to wash my face like they do in infomercials but fail and get soap and water all over the sink and mirror (messy), hog the comforter (mean messy), and yeah. You get the drift. You, the person reading this, might not have the same exact scenarios as me, but you know you have a lot of messy in your life. Admit it. You’re a freaking disaster too. Maybe you have poop-filled diapers to tend to, soccer cleats after a game in the mud you need to clean up, hair dye covering your forehead and fingers, your basement’s abyss (ours too) that you’re afraid to even enter, your family (oh, trust me, you’re not alone) – all messy.

We’re all disasters in some regard. And that’s kind of a cool common bond. We probably have millions of intentions for every day that barely ever get done. Things we meant to do and had to do that we never do. But even focusing on a little of it is something. Taking a chip out of it is a start. Maybe there’s a mess before you. Something you know you need to tackle, even a part of yourself you deem as a mess. Know that some stains never come out; some things can never be worked out. But who the hell cares? Functioning disasters deserve a badge of honor.

How about the back to normal Wednesday be dubbed Wacky Wednesday (yay Trucchi’s!) where you can stop trying to hold all of your shit together from the past five days, holiday shopping, time crunches, and races against time. Relax and unfold. Let your disastrous self be revealed. Let all of your crazy shine through. Be messy and imperfect. And just be you. That’s your only requirement today.

Just like any other.

Tori

an ode to a pup

Dear dog,

You are a maniac more often than not. You like to bark incessantly for reasons we cannot see, hear, or know. You still pee and poop on the rug in the master bedroom. You refuse to go the bathroom outside when you need to and demand to go outside when you don’t need to. You steal things and shred them. You are persistent for chicken, apples, and carrots. You have thousands of toys but always want the one out of your reach. And your tears stink.

But this is a love letter.

the little goober who brings me joy

the little goober who brings me joy

You have taught me the importance of patience with others and with myself. You remind me that we all make mistakes and that accidents happen. You encourage me not to sweat the small stuff. You demonstrate love and exuberance for every single person you meet without judgment. You’re still a kid at heart. Well, you’re technically still a puppy so you’re still a kid in general but you get the point.

You bring me on walks and I find peace in the dog park you adore. You remind me how important playtime is. You’re willing to try everything. (By the way, please stop eating the flowers on my squash plant and licking the lotion on my legs. The squash plant is dying and the lotion is not safe.)

You let me hug you all the time and you give me kisses when I’m crying. You’re always excited to see me even when I don’t feel lovable. You clean out my nose when it’s running. I still find it gross but oddly helpful. You keep me warm, as tiny as you may be. You make me laugh by the ridiculous noises you make when you’re playing and ruffing in your sleep. You warn me when you hear something that doesn’t sound right, even if it’s Ray moving around plastic bags. You preferentially love your nana. I know how lovable she is, so I don’t blame you, but I also think you realize she’s dying and needs your love.

You are making me a better person. You’re such a good girl. So thank you. Even if your tears stink.

Tori